Safety Rules

or does it ?

Following the Oxford incident, Conor Houghton, the Cambridge group's safety officer, issued some rules to prevent further unfortunate injuries. His full statement is below, but before reading it, I would like to remind you all of Conor's qualifications for the post of Chief Safety Officer and Rocket Scientist. Despite witnessing the ignition of a magnesium flare in his kitchen, inhaling noxious emissions in his living quarters (ex Coke), being plunged into abject darkness when the electricity in his staircase mysteriously failed, filling a bottle with l(N) under the very noses of porterial types, I think it only fair to point out that these events were in no sense dangerous and many of them have far more to do with his friends' predilictions for injury than any masochistic tendancies on (for ?) his own part. Throughout these many magnificent moments Conor has stood fast, championing the cause of safety even when battered by Brunhilde's might. In particular, Conor has not

• flung burning magnesium out of a second story window onto passing cyclists
• destroyed major works of art viz. Dante and the cute, tuneful, mug
• immersed his body parts in liquid nitrogen until they froze solid
• never, never, never, supported the sick perversions that are the goldfish group
• argued against the solid rocket enhanced nitrogen rocket

Conor addresses the nation

Many congradualtions to the Oxford group for their successes and condolances for the resulting injury. I think the following safety rules will avoid future injury

• No metal parts.
• All launches from a launch tube or pole
• All rockets to be named

I sincerely hope Andy wasn't serious in claiming his rocket exhibitted the third vice, the second vice is endemic to our rocket brethren, the third vice is an abonimation.

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